Worry

So I'm starting to worry. I'm worried about leaving my life in the city behind, leaving my friends, and Guy #3. I'm worried that I won't like my new small town. I'm worried that my family will drive me crazy from their new proximity. I'm worried that I won't find a good moving company, I won't be able to get my Christmas shopping and travel plans together, and nothing is going to work out. Sigh..

I'm pretty mad at myself for not giving Guy #3 a chance sooner -- if we had had any time, I think it could really turn into something, but I just don't know what will happen now since I'm moving next week. We continue to talk almost daily and go out on dates. We went out on Sunday and had such a nice time, despite the rather ridiculous concert that we attended. He and I had dinner at a nice restaurant first, getting a few dishes to share, which was fun. We then went to the concert -- a contemporary chamber ensemble that I've seen a few times and really enjoyed. Unfortunately, the concert was not exactly what I was expecting -- instead of the usual variety, mixing Mahler with Velvet Underground and other unusual combinations, they played all minimalist, mathematical, atonal compositions from the early 20th century. This type of music is for the pure academic, and yes, I've studied it as a music student, but it is completely unenjoyable to listen to, especially for 2 1/2 hours! Ugh. It was pretty awful actually, and I felt very guilty for having subjected him to this, but he was great through the whole thing (we had to stay since I know the people who lead the ensemble). Afterward, he took me home and we chatted a little longer before a shy peck on the lips and our "goodnights", agreeing that we should get together again soon.

Whenever we're together, time seems to go by so quickly, with never a lull in conversation, and always having a good time. His manners are impeccable; always thoughtful and looking for ways to make me comfortable, and he seems to remember everything I've ever told him -- he'll bring up some little thing I might have mentioned weeks ago, and remember that there was somewhere new I wanted to try, or my preference of something or other. He is so far the complete package. I'm not sure what will happen once I've moved, but as my friend Christine says, he knows that I'm moving, and he's definitely not acting like this is a fling.. Flings don't send flowers, open the car door for you, and remember everything you've ever said in conversation. Hm.