Love with a touch of Wagner

So, I went to see the apartment, which was basically perfect.. It is a huge place on the top floor of an old victorian house -- lots of square footage, dishwasher, free laundry, super nice building manager, and a garden out back that I would be free to use!

I really really liked it, but I'm still not sure.  Definitely felt some of my boyfriend's distant-ness when I got home that night - he was spending endless time on the computer and phone, but then we ended up watching a documentary on the production of Wagner's Ring Cycle by the Met.  Who else would ever want to watch that??  But it was fascinating, and both of us enjoyed it.  By the way, if you are an opera fan, PBS is broadcasting all of the Ring Cycle this week -- it is totally awesome, and the director, Robert Lepage, brought in some really cool innovative techniques for the set design.  Highly recommended!

Anyway, I did not end up talking to him about the apartment, probably because I'm a wimp, and afraid of losing him, even though I kind of feel like I already am in a lot of ways, which is why I went to look at the apartment in the first place.  Sigh.  Then, yesterday morning, he brought up that he'd like to talk about our financial arrangements, but we didn't end up talking about it last night like we had planned.  Instead we made dinner, and cuddled on the couch watching "Das Rheingold".  Now he is sending me recipes, etc. of things he saw online that I might like.  Maybe he sensed something was up?

Perhaps I should mention that he just recently (Labor Day weekend) attended a wedding for two of his close friends, and I opted not to go with him.  This was partly because I felt a little uncomfortable with the setting (we've been a bit rocky lately), but also because he was going to be very busy with wedding duties, and because my family's reunion was taking place the same weekend.  I'd previously planned not to attend my reunion (which, in hind-sight, I think I should have stuck with that decision), but then felt like I should go SOMEWHERE.  But it ended up feeling a little like I was just choosing not to go with him to the wedding.  Which, maybe I was.  Hm.  Maybe this whole thing is just my problem, all in my head.  Still don't know what to do.